Lots of Pictures...

Jade Matilda. I'm just going to post a whole bunch of photos. Enjoy.

3 days old and finally home.

Five days old.

(She rolled over at one week. Also, when left on her tummy she will scoot herself forward until she's off the blanket. Bummer.)

 My mom got into town when Jade was 6 days old and stayed for two weeks. It was wonderful having her here - especially during the move - and Lola misses her terribly.

 Lola finally became interested in her little sister about a week after she was born.  She was especially fascinated by Jade's toes (below) and her belly button. Lola kept looking at it and saying "ouch" as Jade's umbilical cord had yet to fall off.

 It wasn't long before Lola had to introduce Jade to her Yo Gabba crew.

 And she insisted that Daddy put some sunnies on Jade.

 Jade makes some pretty great faces...

 Jade and Grandma

 Jade at two weeks old...and not super happy.

 Finally calmed down.

Lady J is 1 month! And a quick play-by-play of her birth

So, since it's already been ONE WHOLE MONTH since Lady J made her grand entrance I figured I'd better jot down some details of her birth day before I forget altogether. So, without further adieu, lets roll back the clock to April 3, her actual due date...

• 7:30am - after feeding Lola and making sure Kenny was good to go, I hit the gym (less concerned about fitness than on getting labor started). This being the morning of her due date, I was officially OVER being pregnant. 
• 9:00am - arrived at my OB's office for what I hope will be my last appointment. 
• 9:45, after an unusually LONG wait I finally got in to see the doc - well, the sub-doc as my regular OB was on vacation. Of course.
• This doc does the routine check up and decides to strip my membranes - but not before giving me way too much warning that his fingers were WAY BIGGER than those of my regular (female) doctor. Ummm..awkward? A bit. 
• He announces that he "stretched me from a '1' to a '3' and proceeds to measure my fluids. Fluids seem low so I'm sent over to the hospital to be monitored. I give Kenny the heads up and beg him to take Lola to an Easter egg hunt I had planned on attending. 
• 10:45-11:30 - I hang out in triage where the nurses discover that my fluids are actually high. We schedule me to be induced the following week. I high tail it over to the Easter egg hunt to meet my little family. 
• 1:30pm - I'm at home, laundry is going, Lola is napping, and Kenny's finally at his office. I'm talking to my mom and tell her that during the course of our short conversation my back pain has grown noticeably worse and that I should lie down.
• Lying down is really uncomfortable. 
• 2:00 I decide to hop in the shower, which turns into a bath, which gets interrupted by Lola who is up way too soon from her nap. Dang it. Back pain is still strong. 
• 2:40pm - I notice while fetching Lola some juice, that I have to stop twice to breath through the back pain during a VERY short walk from my bedroom to the fridge. At this point I FINALLY realize my back pain is contractions and that they're coming quick. I hurry and install the first 'contraction counter' app on my phone. 20 minutes later, the summary tells me contractions are averaging 2.5-3 minutes apart and are lasting about 50 seconds each. 
• 3:00pm - I text Kenny: "please come home."
• 3:30pm - Kenny rushes in. "Ana's on her way to get Lola, where are the bags?, do we need anything else?, how are you feeling? I got the laundry, how fast are the contractions coming? what can i do? have you eaten anything?"  He asks with in one sentence.  (I'm writhing around on my bed at this point.
• Ana comes and takes Lola, we make it to the hospital at 4:30pm where I learn I'm dilated to a 6/7 and almost fully effaced.
• The rest is a blur...the pain sort of overshadowed the details. 
• I'm rushed through triage and prepped for Labor. Lots of needles. I'm a weeping ball of mess writhing every which way on the bed. I remember being so grateful for the handlebars that I couldn't seem to grip hard enough. Amelia comes and I can't even greet her. I hear a nurse mutter to another "she's in transition." 
• I finally get the epidural while  enduring four contractions. A nurse tells me to hold still and to stop pushing.  I'm checked again and hear this: "she's ready NOW.  But her water hasn't broken; that's her saving grace."  Apparently because my water was still intact, I was permitted to sit through another contraction to let the epidural set in a little before I started pushing.
• 5:15ishpm - pushing starts. I decide I'd rather die.
• 5:30pm - Kenny is told to reach over me and deliver his daughter (her head was already out). 
• Jade Matilda weighed in at 8lbs 2oz and was 20.5 inches long. Beautiful (well, beautifully swollen) and healthy.

My recovery was similar to Lola's, although there was a lot of bleeding initially which alarmed the nurses. I endured a painful little procedure to get the clots out, was hooked up with a catheter (yay) and put on a morphine drip (yay!).  And I've been on an iron supplement all month as a result.

Jade...the girl of the hour. Born on her due date within one hour of us arriving at the hospital. The last month seems to have flown by just as quickly. Jade has proven to be more work than Lola was. She cries a lot more and needs help to fall asleep. And she doesn't sleep in long stretches. Nursing was a challenge and just last night I self-diagnosed myself (and her) with thrush. That's the only way I can explain the pain nursing continues to cause me. She rolled over at one week and continues to do so every time we place her on her tummy. She also scoots herself forward during tummy time and will often make it all the way off whatever blanket I've laid her on. I don't love that she's already sort of mobile. But, the moments when she's not work, she's pretty sweet. So, we'll keep her anyway. She's curious and attentive and always stretches back to see who is holding her. Her favorite is her Dad, of course. I seem destined to birth Daddy's Girls, and that's okay. He deserves their adoration. And it's a mutual adoration. Like with Lola, this relationship between her and her daddy is my favorite thing to observe. I have the added joy this time around of getting to watch Jade and Lola get to know one-another. It's sweet... Lola is attentive and interested and (mostly) gentile. Or as gentile as I can expect her to be. She's taken a special liking to lying on top of Jade, which is a bit of a problem, but so long as I'm around to regulate the affection (and make sure Jade's surviving it), I let Lola go for it. I'm predicting one day Jade will be the taller/bigger of the two and she'll dish it out to Lola. So the score will be settled one day. :)

I have lots of photos...just never the time to post them. Maybe tomorrow. And now, I'm off to feed this baby and hopefully get some sleep. 

Maternity Photos - Jade

So, I have some pretty talented in-laws. It's well documented here that Amelia Lyon is our go-to favorite photographer and it's just an added bonus that she's Kenny's little sister. She kindly took some photos to document this pregnancy and did a smashing job. I LOVE them. Check them out and leave her some love on her site if you'd like.

Remember Lola Dee's maternity shots? No? See my favorites below and many more of them here.

Jade photos - Hospital

My dad has been awaiting surgery and therefore could not make it out here to visit his new granddaughter. He requested photos. Dad, here's the first of MANY. Enjoy.

Jade brought a gift to give her big sister Lola. DJ Lance is almost as big as her!
Lola LOVED it.

She was less enthusiastic about her new Little Sister.




Sadly, I've failed to get photos of all Jade's visiters. here's a few I did get:

Elise...
Robin...
Aunt Pickle...
and Aunt Amelia...

It's late, so that's all for now. G'night.

A letter to Jade a week before she's due.

It's been a while...

Hmmmm. Between consulting, being a mom, being 7 and 8 (almost 9) months pregnant, prepping for Baby's arrival, and packing for a move (that got postponed just days before the scheduled moving day) I've been busy. And really tired.

I haven't written much about this pregnancy and I'm sad to admit that I'm just like almost every other parent on her second go at it...somehow this kiddo already is getting less attention than her sister got. It can't be helped, I guess.

So, here goes: a bit about this pregnancy.

Symptoms: I've had a little more aversion to certain foods, but nothing that's made me actually sick. No real cravings, although I really liked bread and cheese products early on and I've been enjoying spicy food quite a bit more. I've cut out wheat and dairy for the large part in this last trimester as I don't seem to be processing it as well as I did when I was pregnant with Lola. If anything, it's kept the weight gain in check. (Win!) Total weight gain (20ish lbs so far) has been about the same, but I did pack it on a bit earlier this time around. I blame the holidays. I've worked out regularly through out this pregnancy, just like with Lola, although not nearly as much and without the same intensity I was able to endure the first time. Something about already having a kid at home who demands a lot of my time and attention has really cut into my gym time this go around. I didn't feel this baby kick much until 20 or 21 weeks along and she isn't as hyper in her movements. Lots of slow, strong pushes and stretches rather than the bursts of acrobatics performed by Lola. The Ultrasound technician feels this baby is on the taller side (as evidenced by apparently longer legs), and while I'd agree that Baby 2 seems bigger than her sister I still can't imagine having anything other than a shrimpy kid with short legs. Like me. Like Lola. I have to assume that while Baby 2 may end up being a bigger baby, she'll still end up being a small kid. I've thrown up once, just like with Lola, although this time it was a result of the Flu and not related to being pregnant. Having the flu while pregnant proved to be akin to spending a few days in Hell. Lola knows to point to my belly when asked "where is Baby Jade," but otherwise I doubt she knows what's going on. Poor girl. Her world is about to be rocked. Luckily she's proven to have gentle and tender instincts around babies and is a good Junior Mommy to her dolls. Until she gets bored or distracted at which point she simply drops them and moves on. I'm most excited to see the bond my two girls develop with each other. I hate when people tell me my girls might hate each other. I acknowledge there will be fighting and periods of disagreement, but I'm confident they will become great friends and confidants. Even if it's only rooted in their shared resentment of their mother's shortcomings. :)

Speaking of their mother's failings...

Even though we planned to get pregnant, and even though it happened quicker than it did when we were trying with Lola, it took a long time to feel excited about this pregnancy. More specifically, to feel excited about having TWO kids. In fact, it really wasn't until about a week or so ago (thanks to a very special priesthood blessing from Kenny) that I finally felt okay about all this and even could honestly say that I was excited to meet this baby. Sad, huh? I wanted very badly for Lola to have a sibling close in age - a buddy. Or at least someone who will understand and relate to her. But I've been terrified about having to parent TWO kids. I'm not just saying that. I've had real, crippling anxiety over it. While Lola is a pretty easy kid, parenting is still work. And I've proven to be a lazy mom. As such, I've spent a lot of this pregnancy transferring the acknowledgement of my parental inadequacies with regards to Lola into feelings of guilt/frustration/fear about what I expect to be continued parental failings for Baby 2. After months of Lola being repeatedly sick with her ear infections and Kenny being gone on a few business trips early this year, I'll just say that January was a particularly tough month for me. I don't want to insult those who suffer from REAL, clinical depression, but there were some dark days. I hope Lola will forgive me. She watched way too many episodes of Yo Gabba Gabba that month. I hope Kenny will forgive me. I was unfair and unkind in my treatment of him too often. And the guilt and self-loathing has been more than I could handle at times.

February was better, and March has been better still - despite the craziness and changing plans. I had two wonderful baby showers and was spoiled with love and support from many. I am lucky. I accepted the showers with hesitation, feeling like it was not classy or that I was greedy to have a shower for a second child - especially one of the same gender. I really didn't need anything much for this kid. But people insisted and I realized that more than getting things for this baby, I really needed and benefited from the time given and generosity shown by so many. So Thank You to those who planned and attended the showers. I love you all.

I'm now due to welcome Jade Matilda in 8 days. While part of me still is in no rush for her to get here, I'm genuinely excited to meet her. And to mother her. I expect to fail in many areas and to still suffer from occasional self-loathing with regards to my parental shortcomings, but again I am grateful that she and Lola will at least have each other. That is the biggest reason I wanted a second child. To give Lola someone. And for that person to have Lola. Will we go for a third? Perhaps. Our game plan has always been "one at a time." In all I'm grateful that my body has allowed me this experience - to be pregnant - and that my pregnancies have been relatively easy. I know many who have not been so fortunate and my heart breaks for them. I fully realize what a blessing I have been given, and I don't want to soil it with complaints. I am grateful to have to companionship and support from an extremely patient and kind and thoughtful husband. How anyone does this alone is BEYOND me. I salute the women who do it, for whatever reason or circumstance. I'm grateful for the many ways we've been quietly blessed temporally as we've prepared to grow our family and welcome Jade. I'm still a little stressed about paying for this delivery and for the spike in rent as we relocate (finally) to a bigger space, but if I've learned anything these last few months it's that something will come along and we'll get by. I still hate the stress of not knowing exactly how, but I'm comforted at least in knowing that we will. Get by, that is. And that even if we're just "getting by" we will enjoy each other and our life.

So, Jade, as the countdown officially begins, let it be said that your mother is excitedly awaiting your arrival, is hoping all goes well, and is anxious to hold and love you and introduce you to your family who also already adores you.

I'm ready when you are.