Monday, June 1, 2009

Recipe for sad week:

  • visit terminally-ill father-in-law
  • go sightseeing at a mass grave
  • attend grandmother's viewing and funeral
  • suffer miscarriage (thus missing a vacation to Mexico)
Such was the week of February 21-March 1, 2009. It's been exactly three months since the miscarriage - which also happens to be exactly how long I was pregnant. The hardest part continues to be the "would-have-beens." Current goal is to stop torturing myself with such hypotheticals at some point real soon.

Despite that, life goes on and opportunities for happiness abound.

Note to husband: I would like very much for you to join me for a mid-day meal (preferably something warm and comforting) on this gloomy June day. Thank you in advance.

See! Opportunities for happiness are plenty - if you ask for them.

Note to reader: no need to comment. I just needed to finally make a record of this event somewhere. Thanks for indulging me.

5 comments:

lyndsey said...

oh blog-friend. no comment necessary but i wanted to say that i'm sorry. :( i'm not even mad that this means you were trying to abandon me in the no-kids-allowed world. hope you are doing better three months after that awful week.

allegra said...

Jill?! No need to comment? i know nothing anyone can say will take the pain away, and i know even though it has been awhile since the miscarriage, i know at times you probably really are still hurting a lot. because i've been there too. i'm so sorry jill. i know how bad that hurts and what a trial it is. i'll be thinking and prayin' for ya.

i hope no more bad weeks like that roll around for you anytime soon. hang in there

allegra said...

oh, and i meant to say that although it is not healthy, it's pretty normal to think of the "what could have beens" but that mentality definitely just makes you more depressed. it's been 7 months since my miscarriage and i still think, "had i not miscarried, i'd already delivered the baby!" and it makes me so so sad. so you're normal to think like that, but just try not to...:) i of course just stated the obvious, but sometimes it helps to know your thought processes are valid, and that there are others out there who have been through the same thing and know just how you're feeling.

Kat Clark said...

:(

Kory said...

I'm just catching up on blogging. I'm really sorry for your loss. One of my best friends passed away the day before we had our miscarriage. I can't say I know how you feel because I'm a boy, but I can say I understand. I'm really Sorry. You guys will be in our prayers.