Kenny came to take me to lunch the other day – and not a moment too soon. Just when I thought I was going to choke on and die from more news of economic woe, my own workload, and increasingly annoying colleagues... he came. And he saved me.
How is it that one hour in the middle of the day spent with someone you love can make up for weeks of pent up frustration from people you definitely do NOT love. My colleagues should thank Kenny. Seriously. The only reason I’ve managed to refrain from gauging their eyes out or sucker-punching them in the throat is because I got to take an hour long break with my husband on a Thursday afternoon. Man I love that guy. I've listed just a few reasons below; hopefully they're not too cliche.
- Who else would, upon learning his wife is sick, come home with hot soup and Disney’s Robin Hood (her favorite childhood movie)?
- Who else would then indulge said wife as she pursued a philosophical debate on the morality of Robin Hood’s actions? (Whoever said The Rich didn’t earn their wealth?! Why should Robin Hood get to decide who deserves it and how it should be redistributed?!)
- Who else would drive all night from CA to UT (changing two flat tires along the way) after his selfish/impatient girlfriend hangs up on him fuming that she’s “tired of dating a [stupid] telephone.”
- Who else would encourage me to stick to my goals, but not judge me when I come up short?
- Who else would tell me that I shouldn’t stress about paying my own student loans – that he’d be honored to accept that obligation should I ever stop working? And then actually encourage me to go back to school (if that’s what I want)?
- Who doesn’t follow basketball at all and who doesn’t drink at all, but goes alone to a empty bar one night (for a steak dinner, he says) to watch “Kobe and LeBron go head-to-head” while his wife is out of town?
- Who else routinely demonstrates the restraint of a God and even presents himself as humble and teachable when I take out on him my frequent need to vent?
- Who else would rather spend his time pursuing self improvement than kicking back and relaxing once in a while?
- Who else freak-danced my grandmother at one of the first family weddings he attended - oh wait, that was my cousin's husband, Ben. I guess that's why I like Ben. Moving on.
- Who else actually and genuinely likes everybody he meets? And thinks they’re all truly good people?
- Who else always offers to help anybody and everybody who might need it?
- Who else hates Valentines Day because he thinks it’s stupid that we have one day set aside to demonstrate the kind of love that (in his words) “should be demonstrated every second”?
- Who else decides to pull off the freeway to have a quick dance party?
- Who else doesn't get that upset when his drugged-out girlfriend spits out bloody, sticky gauze into his lap as he's driving her home from getting her wisdom teeth pulled? (I don't totally remember this...but I believe it happened.)
- Who else is best friends with all the old men in our ward?
- Who else just laughs when said old men try to kiss his wife – on the lips – every Sunday?
- Who else lets me climb into his arms like a little kid and just holds me as long as I want - even if he's busy?
- Who else thinks it’s funny to dress up like an old man and then insist on going to Sizzler, "so he can fit in"? And who else argues “No, Jill! You don't even know. This is where Buffalo Plaid was invented!” And who gets mad at his wife when she won’t let him sit by all the old people at the restaurant?
- Who else says, “What? You’re on your period? I couldn’t even tell” like he means it?
- Who else has a purposefully awkward alter ego called “Pseudo-Kenny” that makes random appearances from time to time?
- Who else gets excited by every opportunity presented to him?
- Who else always sees the silver lining in every cloud – so much so that he openly welcomes and even loves clouds?
- Who else always thinks I'm pretty and smart and right - even when I'm not?
Who else could have won me over so completely?!
(Oh, and I totally understand if, after reading this, you've fallen in love with him too.)