I obviously made it home (I am blogging). How did this happen? Someone must have stopped and helped me, right? Sadly, no. Actually, quite the opposite. One car ended up behind me and its driver proceeded to honk as he stared at me standing outside my car. Then he kept motioning for me to move it (while continuing to honk). "Oh sorry sir, am I in your way? Don't mind that I put my hazards on...I'll jump right in and get it started and moved for you." I hate people sometimes. Anyway, Scott Windes came to my rescue. He is my hero today. Frankly he is humanity's hero too, because as much as I wanted to curse our species after "The Honker" Scott reminded me that at least a few good people still exist. (Humanity, for Scott's sake, I will refrain from cursing you today.) So my gratitude goes to him and to his lovely wife, Sarah, for sharing Scott with me today when my own husband was unavailable. Scott came and single handedly pushed my car around the corner, checked it out, and tried to jump start it. (I say "tried" because my car continued its rebellion and decided to give Scott The Finger. It wouldn't start.)
Before driving me home, Scott took me back to the laundry mat so my clothes wouldn't grow mold all afternoon. (Side note - I got a roll of quarters from the bank and there was a few nickles in there instead of quarters! I was jipped! AND, the dryer ate two of my quarters. And no one speaks English! Or at least they pretend not to. Smart. Anyway, this is just not my day.)
So now I'm home. I should clean my apartment. Actually, I should go running, but (after a recent jog on the horse trails) I've developed quite a blister on my right Achilles heel. When I went searching through our first aid supplies for a band aid, I found these - our only band aids:
This is apparently what you get when your husband does the first aid shopping. (I'd post a picture of the band aid on my heel, but then you'd have to see my foot, and I feel kinda weird about that. I'll just say that these do NOT look like bacon when they are on your skin. It looks like a gaping wound.) On the company's website, this product's tagline (also this blog-post's title) is: Meat Heals Wounds.
Well, meat may heal this wound, but can it fix my car?
10 comments:
What the nasty bandaids?! At least you had them I guess. Anyway, where have I been? The last time I read your blog the last post was Hawaiian shirt disaster! Sorry you have been sick and especially that you had such a crappy day!
hahahaha. okay this is the funniest blog post ever. number one, sorry about your car, that sucks. two, we used to do our laundry at a laundry mat in LA and i was always the only white person there. and three, those bandaids are hilarious!! my sister is obsessed with bacon and last year for xmas we found a site that sells the bandaids along w/ other bacon-ish items. we opted to get her the bacon mints, which was a very bad (and disgusting) choice. next time i'm going for the bandaids.
hope the rest of your weekend shapes up better!
Awww...lady. Doesn't it suck when we forget
(and I do all of the time) how much we depend on our vehicles. It totally shot's down everything else on your plate when something happens to them...
i love how you write. you're hilarious and your posts rock. sorry about the car. sounds like a stressful day. at least you didn't have a crying baby in the car to add to the stress!:) (has happened too many times to me..haha) hope things look up from here as i'm sure it will with those magical bandaids of yours. sweet.
hey, at least you shop at trader joe's. that store is freakin' sweet. i'm obsessed.
Those bandaids are the coolest bandaids i've ever seen! I want to know where to find these. I'll cut myself to use them.
I second Kory on the cool band-aids! Sorry about the car trouble, I went to lunch with a coworker last week and we ended up stranded for a couple hours. Hope all goes well. BTW, I second Allegra, your posts are fun to read. Keep it up, b/c it's 6:20pm and I'm still working...your blog made for a nice break!
thanks
We have those bandaids too, although, I can't take the credit for buying them. Dean accidently stole them from Urban Outfitters. When I say stole what I mean is that they were dropped into stroller oblivion and later discovered after I got home and was in no way going back to return them. Lucky for us, he stole the bacon & egg assortment package. Not so lucky for Dean though--he was really mad when we ran out of race car bandaids and he had to cover his scabby feet in fried eggs. Amazingly, he didn't have ouchies anymore.
Sorry to hear about your car, and your wet clothes, and the ESL laundry mat, and for my long comment!!!
yes, and vegetables heal souls.
Does this car you speak of bare the initials VW?? I have a bone to pick with them. And didnt Kenny win those band-aids at the cousins Christmas party white elephant gift exchange a few years back?
lol every other sentence. Fabulous post! On the subject of humanity, one day I saw a truck that had died turning left in an intersection. The poor dude was trying hard to push the truck through. I considered getting out and helping, but (excuses) I was pregnant and sitting in the other left hand turn lane. The next thing I saw was something beautiful. A man with some serious and chronic issue going on with his leg, made his way over to help pushing. Humanity is sometimes good.
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