Attention all Middle-Aged Businessmen:

Please stop.
Stop what? Stop wearing these:
Despite whatever you tell yourself, you still look like this:
and that is not a good thing.

This is not appropriate attire unless you are in Hawaii or on a cruise – and even then you’re still precariously close to “extreme tackiness,” having already crossed the simply “cheesy” line upon purchasing this item. Hawaiian shirt + slacks + dress shoes will never look good, or even presentable – even on Casual Fridays. I don’t know when this became the standard Friday uniform for millions of Southern CA professional men, but it needs to stop. Like, now. You are not Bob Hope and you are not a Beach Boy. At least move on to boxy polo shirts. My point is that the Hawaiian shirt is long since over, if it ever was, in fact, "in." (Actually... seemed to make a brief comeback among preppy/jock boys while I was in high school, but I was living in Provo, UT; thus , by the very nature of the dominant demographics of that area, this does not count as a legitimate fashion “comeback.” Did the come-back happen only in Utah?) Anyway, I'm not advocating that you dress "in style" nor do I support the notion there is one style that rules the others. The point is that I can’t even ride the train or comfortably enter the break room on Fridays with so many of you crammed into such a small space. The clashing colors/prints are seizure-inducing. For the sake of anyone who has to interact with you – especially professionally – please make this stop. Thank you.