Friday, March 19, 2010

Some math...because that's what I do.

I find myself increasingly annoyed that women keep telling me “really, you’re pregnant for 10 months.” Sorry to be a stickler, but no, actually you’re not. Let’s do the math, shall we? With the exception of February all months have 30 or 31 days making it 4.29-4.43 weeks in a month – not the standard 4 weeks these women assume in their simplified calculation. After computing a simple average, a standard month will have 4.35 weeks (see table below). 40 week pregnancy will then technically be 9.2 moths. Point TWO! Not even a half month. Let’s also remember that the first two weeks (give or take) of the standard 40 week pregnancy, YOU’RE NOT EVEN PREGNANT. Remember? They start counting from your last period, which ends typically two weeks before you even ovulate and before you can even technically conceive a child. So there, you’re pregnant about NINE months only. Unless you go way over. In which, case, you can say whatever you want. You have totally earned that right.

So, NO. I’m sorry, ladies. You are not pregnant for “technically 10 months.” It’s a big enough deal to simply say you’re pregnant and will endure all the "fun" stuff that entails, and that you are going to squeeze a child out your va-jay-jay (or have it surgically cut out of you). I promise there is no need to add the extra month for effect. Nine is plenty impressive.

I have some experience and can now attest to this fact. (Minus the delivery/surgery part...that can wait a while).

And just for effect – by the time we have this kid, I will have been pregnant for TWELVE+ months since last year. Yes, I’m counting the three months I was pregnant before I miscarried, but still. Beat that. (And I know some of you can, in fact, beat that; my hat's off to you. For real.) :) :)

Month / Days / Weeks
January / 31 / 4.43
February / 28 / 4.00
March / 31 / 4.43
April / 30 / 4.29
May / 31 / 4.43
June / 30 / 4.29
July / 31 / 4.43
August / 31 / 4.43
September / 30 / 4.29
October / 31 / 4.43
November / 30 / 4.29
December / 31 / 4.43
Total = 365 days or 52.14 weeks
Average month will have 4.35 weeks (=52.14/12)


Tyler Jorgenson said...

I've had this conversation with women before but it comes off a lot better when it's from a woman (such as yourself). From now on I will just point them to this post and smile.

Shanna Nemrow said...

Nicely explained. That's always bugged me too. That and everyone feels it's their right to comment on your size and touch your belly when you're pregnant. People told me all the time I was either too big or too small, like they were an expert on pregnancy and my body.

Amy said...

haha I know! My friend tried to tell me that, and I was like how do you figure? But I count my miscarriage too :) But I still wasn't pregnant for 9 months because Axel came early, I think It ended up being 8 1/2 total. I always say "when I was 9 months pregnant" and then Kory will correct...
"8, you were NEVER 9 months remember?"

You also should get an award for doing 2 first trimesters. Thats enough for sure.

D, J, and Dre said...

You can just tell people that you are pregnant for 10 lunar months. That was the easiest way for me to determine where I was in my pregnancy anyway. I just watched the moon.

Our Blog Spot said...

Ummm, I actually laughed OUT LOUD when I read this post. This was wonderful. Thank you. I should show this to my sister-in-law... Hmmmm.

PS I have been pregnant for 42 months. And I have two kids. Go team "so much for 9 months = a human" DANG IT!

Kat Clark said...

Thank you!!! You would think that anyone who graduated from high school would be able to figure this out but no!!! All these ignorant women are out there claiming a ten month pregnancy like idiots.

This is why I always went by weeks in my pregnancy rather than months. I met so many other pregnant women in the doctors office or wherever that I would ask how far along they were. They would say something like, "5 months," then ask me and I would say, "well I'm a little over 4 months along, I'm 20 weeks," and they would say, "me too!" Isn't that just retarted?! I don't know why it bugged me so bad but it just did.

Sorry for all the jibberish examplary conversation in quotation marks.

Kelli and/or Kyle said...

I never knew that you miscarried. I was 3 months along when I did too. Congrats on being so pregnant! But sorry you had to have 12 miserable months of it. (Today's a sick day for me, so I'm down on pregnancy). But it still is exciting!!

heather said...

for a second, when the doctor tried to explain things to me, i was one of those ignorant women. 40 weeks sounded like 10 months. but then i did the math. thanks for laying it all out.

Michael said...

So Jennifer told me about this post and I would just like to say thank you. Also I would like to propose another mathematical enigma. Why are there 12 months? Why do we confuse people by having them try to figure out if a certain month has 30, 31, or even 28 days in it? Now I know my months and how many days are in each of them but I think that we should stop this nonsense. There should be 13 months! Crazy I know but hear me out. If we lived in a world where there were 13 months then all months but one would have 28 days in it. The 13th month would have 29 days in it and we should call it Mikeuary because I discovered the 13th month. Ok, maybe this was a stretch by calling it a mathematical enigma but 13 months is a good idea and you know it. Think of other 28 day cycles. I can think of one and I think that a lot of women would really like to know that their monthly visitor is coming on the 16th, or whatever day it may be, of every month of that year (assuming they fit the average 28 day cycle). I know I am a man and shouldn’t talk about things that I know nothing about, but I’m just sayin.

mykidzmom said...

Sorry to be nitpicky Mike, but not all women get their cycle every 28 days :) But, if we did go with the proposed 13 months in one year then we would be younger than we are right now. So, a 40 yr old woman then would only be turning 37. Sweet, unless you already look old for your age then that`s not so great... Hmmm, I`m putting way too much thought into this.